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I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny. | I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny. | ||
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]! | Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]! | ||
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[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer! | [[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer! | ||
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf? | The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf? | ||
− | " | + | "Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess." |
− | + | Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]]. | |
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons. | [[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons. | ||
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods. | My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods. | ||
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The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me... | The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me... | ||
Wait, you're MAKING animals?<br>—''Torak''<br>At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows.<br>—''Spiders Everywhere'' | Wait, you're MAKING animals?<br>—''Torak''<br>At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows.<br>—''Spiders Everywhere'' | ||
+ | "Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..."<br>--[[Toady One]] | ||
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter.<br>--Sowelu<br>Very fitting to dwarves, I must add.<br>--Sean Mirrsen | (Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter.<br>--Sowelu<br>Very fitting to dwarves, I must add.<br>--Sean Mirrsen | ||
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.<br>--AlienChickenPie | [[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.<br>--AlienChickenPie | ||
+ | "[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats."<br>--[[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example."<br>--[[Toady One]] | ||
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!"<br>--[[User:Savok|Savok]] | "You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!"<br>--[[User:Savok|Savok]] | ||
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred." | "What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred." | ||
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn | Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn | ||
+ | The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]] | ||
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results. | [FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results. | ||
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!<br>Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl. | Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!<br>Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl. | ||
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita | "Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita | ||
+ | "Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]] | ||
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero | "...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero | ||
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex] | "This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex] | ||
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]] | "The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]] | ||
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin | "Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin | ||
− | " | + | "Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name." |
+ | "Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]] | ||
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]] | "Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]] | ||
− | "It's never 'just a game' when you're losing."<br>--George Carlin (if he played | + | "It's never 'just a game' when you're losing."<br>--George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress) |
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway. | Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway. | ||
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit. | Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit. | ||
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins." | Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins." | ||
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death." | "Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death." | ||
− | + | Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body | |
− | Bug 000780 | ||
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." Ben jamm1n | "Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." Ben jamm1n | ||
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious. | Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious. | ||
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy. | Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy. | ||
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels. | Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels. | ||
− | There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave | + | There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]]. |
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe. | There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe. | ||
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects | Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects | ||
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"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead." | "Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead." | ||
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!! | Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!! | ||
− | + | Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny. | |
The carp has drowned. | The carp has drowned. | ||
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones. | There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones. | ||
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream." | "I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream." | ||
+ | Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately. | ||
+ | "Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave."<br> -- [[Toady One]] | ||
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs | Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs | ||
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes | Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes | ||
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi | "[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi | ||
+ | You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG?? | Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG?? | ||
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG?? | ...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG?? | ||
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots." | Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots." | ||
+ | "I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- [[Toady One|Toady the Great One]] | ||
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately. | Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately. | ||
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots | I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots | ||
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Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying. | Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying. | ||
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently. | Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently. | ||
+ | There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
Mew? <br />Chop! | Mew? <br />Chop! | ||
− | "If | + | "If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons." |
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8 | 'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8 | ||
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing. | It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing. | ||
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow. | It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow. | ||
− | Bug introduced in the latest version: | + | Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place. |
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas. | You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas. | ||
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature | Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature | ||
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path. | Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path. | ||
− | Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br>--The | + | Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br>--The Motto of Dwarf Fortress |
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things. | I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things. | ||
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am."<br />-- Dwarven Philosopher | "Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am."<br />-- Dwarven Philosopher | ||
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"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]" | "The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]" | ||
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver | "Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver | ||
− | Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung | + | Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods. |
− | + | Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost. | |
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live. | A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live. | ||
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident. | A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident. | ||
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma. | There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma. | ||
− | Portal and | + | Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!. |
+ | The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe | ||
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd | The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd | ||
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth | (On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth | ||
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel | So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel | ||
+ | The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- [[Toady One]] | ||
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen. | Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen. | ||
+ | I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down! | The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down! | ||
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood?<br>[23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river? | [22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood?<br>[23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river? | ||
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Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target. | Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target. | ||
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts. | In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts. | ||
+ | I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant.<br>Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine! | Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant.<br>Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine! | ||
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves! | We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves! | ||
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{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids | {{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids | ||
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility."<br />-- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath | "This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility."<br />-- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath | ||
+ | The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year). | I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year). | ||
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci | They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci | ||
+ | Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices. | You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices. | ||
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care. | Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care. | ||
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Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night. | Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night. | ||
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One | I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One | ||
− | + | Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}. | |
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young. | No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young. | ||
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees | From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees | ||
+ | Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]] | ||
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling | The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling | ||
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified. | Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified. | ||
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath | Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath | ||
− | Welcome to | + | Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug |
+ | Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died." | "I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died." | ||
+ | I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill. | Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill. | ||
+ | The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]] | ||
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! <br>Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2. | You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! <br>Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2. | ||
+ | It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]] | ||
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die. | Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die. | ||
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge! | Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge! | ||
+ | [[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]] | ||
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!" | Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!" | ||
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja] | Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja] | ||
− | You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. | + | You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes] |
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]]. | Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]]. | ||
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down. | I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down. | ||
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"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR | "What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR | ||
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody. | In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody. | ||
− | + | Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]]. | |
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death" | "I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death" | ||
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party. | The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party. | ||
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That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers | That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers | ||
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer." | "Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer." | ||
− | + | Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006. | |
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head. | Sometimes the best trophy is your own head. | ||
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev | I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev | ||
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How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid | How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid | ||
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron | I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron | ||
+ | Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]] | ||
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree. | {{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree. | ||
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR | Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR | ||
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers | Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers | ||
− | I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that | + | I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin |
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR | Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR | ||
− | The Herbalist has become enraged!<br>Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an | + | The Herbalist has become enraged!<br>Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argumnent with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!" |
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me." | Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me." | ||
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger. | Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger. | ||
− | "Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been | + | "Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid. |
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life. | My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life. | ||
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood! | Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood! | ||
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Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla. | Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla. | ||
Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic. | Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic. | ||
+ | I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative dacite figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I filled my fortress's temple with statues and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint] | I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint] | ||
Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip. | Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip. | ||
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{{bugl|2484|cat=nocat}}: Eight-legged quadruped | {{bugl|2484|cat=nocat}}: Eight-legged quadruped | ||
{{bugl|9832|cat=nocat}}: Overuse of casesura and reversal in poetic forms | {{bugl|9832|cat=nocat}}: Overuse of casesura and reversal in poetic forms | ||
+ | BAHAHAHA, a goblin just got gelded by a copper mace, this game is the best. | ||
[Bug fix] Made gorlaks able to open doors, stopped desizing of their heads. | [Bug fix] Made gorlaks able to open doors, stopped desizing of their heads. | ||
{{bugl|4681|cat=nocat}}: A dwarf with a [[Strange mood|fell mood]] grabbed a ghost. It didn't get the required materials, so it grabbed another one. | {{bugl|4681|cat=nocat}}: A dwarf with a [[Strange mood|fell mood]] grabbed a ghost. It didn't get the required materials, so it grabbed another one. | ||
− | "You read Misconceptions About Reproduction."<br>The written portion consists of a 69 page manual entitled Misconceptions About Reproduction, authored by Lali Mobblazes.<br>It concerns the reproductive behavior of creatures. The writing is quite self-indulgent. Overall, the prose is not awful, but not very good either. | + | "You read Misconceptions About Reproduction."<br>The written portion consists of a 69 page manual entitled Misconceptions About Reproduction, authored by Lali Mobblazes.<br>It concerns the reproductive behavior of creatures. The writing is quite self-indulgent. Overall, the prose is not awful, but not very good either. --[https://youtu.be/OYnl4S10MTw?t=33m22s HUMAN ECHOES] |
My adventurer found a horse. I knew you couldn't ride horses so I decided to attack it for its meat. {The horse hoof strikes Ehil Casketfrgrance in the head, and the severed part sails off in arc!} | My adventurer found a horse. I knew you couldn't ride horses so I decided to attack it for its meat. {The horse hoof strikes Ehil Casketfrgrance in the head, and the severed part sails off in arc!} | ||
Acik Citudubmith, Werewarthog: I have improved my wrestling. That was very satisfying! (...) The speardwarf stabs the werewarthog in the neck with her ({bismuth bronze spear}) and the severed part sails off in an arc! ~instant karma | Acik Citudubmith, Werewarthog: I have improved my wrestling. That was very satisfying! (...) The speardwarf stabs the werewarthog in the neck with her ({bismuth bronze spear}) and the severed part sails off in an arc! ~instant karma | ||
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Throwing a coat at an enemy tears their leg apart, bruising ligaments and tendons and forcing him to the ground, effectively doing more damage then if I had hacked him with an axe. Eh, seems legit. | Throwing a coat at an enemy tears their leg apart, bruising ligaments and tendons and forcing him to the ground, effectively doing more damage then if I had hacked him with an axe. Eh, seems legit. | ||
Human 2 (to Human 1): I died. It was inevitable. | Human 2 (to Human 1): I died. It was inevitable. | ||
− | + | Dwarf Fortress isn't Dwarf Fortress unless your Trade Depot is inexplicably covered in vomit | |
[[Tantrum]]: If you can't stand your life anymore, come for treatment to the elephants. [[Unfortunate accident|They'll gladly understand.]] | [[Tantrum]]: If you can't stand your life anymore, come for treatment to the elephants. [[Unfortunate accident|They'll gladly understand.]] | ||
+ | These secret agents are overdoing it... "What can you tell me about yourself?" "Me? Who's that? I don't know myself." -- [[Toady One]] | ||
Gelu Blossomedstenches the Ripe Sucker of Sacks is a marsh titan. It is the only one of its kind. A great one-eyed six-legged ankylosaurid, it has an austere look about it. Its periwinkle scales are round and close-set. Beware its fire! Gelu is associated with water, plants, nature, muck and animals. | Gelu Blossomedstenches the Ripe Sucker of Sacks is a marsh titan. It is the only one of its kind. A great one-eyed six-legged ankylosaurid, it has an austere look about it. Its periwinkle scales are round and close-set. Beware its fire! Gelu is associated with water, plants, nature, muck and animals. | ||
− | {{bugl|3299|cat=nocat}} | + | {{bugl|3299|cat=nocat}} - [Animal Populations] Blind cave bears have front toes on both front and rear feet |
− | {{bugl|2790|cat=nocat}} | + | {{bugl|2790|cat=nocat}} - [Creatures] Alligators needlessly use specific toes |
− | {{bugl|6498|cat=nocat}} | + | {{bugl|6498|cat=nocat}} - [Adventure Mode -- Conversation] Zombies start conversation with necromancer adventurer who tries to sleep in their house |
+ | There's a cost to this movement, and the cost is, 'how much do I value my blood? -- [[Toady One|Tarn Adams]] | ||
+ | It's still a shock. People are playing a text game. That's weird. -- [[Toady One|Tarn Adams]] | ||
[http://i.imgur.com/1A5Au.jpg You get used to it. I, I don't even see the ASCII. All I see is dwarf, *floodgate*, plump helmet spawn...] | [http://i.imgur.com/1A5Au.jpg You get used to it. I, I don't even see the ASCII. All I see is dwarf, *floodgate*, plump helmet spawn...] | ||
{{bugl|9763|cat=nocat}} - [Dwarf Mode -- Immigration] Dwarf missing upper body, but still alive. | {{bugl|9763|cat=nocat}} - [Dwarf Mode -- Immigration] Dwarf missing upper body, but still alive. | ||
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"I like to play with my food, starting with the fingers, toes, lips, ears, teeth, eyes, nose, then just randomly stabbing them until they bleed out" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4b5lw8/bandits_controlling_hillocks/d16qkym/?context=10000 DwarfTower] | "I like to play with my food, starting with the fingers, toes, lips, ears, teeth, eyes, nose, then just randomly stabbing them until they bleed out" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4b5lw8/bandits_controlling_hillocks/d16qkym/?context=10000 DwarfTower] | ||
Death... I am not upset by this. | Death... I am not upset by this. | ||
− | "I made a giant statue of a dog entirely out of dog soap. It took nearly 10 years." -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163866. | + | An impressionable child, she inherited the goblin ethics of valuing power over others and her personal dream is to take over the world. I'm sure it'll be fine. -- [[Toady One]] |
+ | "I made a giant statue of a dog entirely out of dog soap. It took nearly 10 years." -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163866.0 Ironfang] | ||
"A mix between Children of Men, City of Ember, and, uh, magma." | "A mix between Children of Men, City of Ember, and, uh, magma." | ||
+ | "If a sieging army wants to talk, there's an initial petition to arrange a parley, which is not delivered physically -- they hang back outside in relative safety, since you people have a tendency to drop magma on things." -- [[Toady One]] | ||
"Spearmaster stabs the Troglodyte in the left eyelid from behind with his -bronze spear-, tearing the skin!" | "Spearmaster stabs the Troglodyte in the left eyelid from behind with his -bronze spear-, tearing the skin!" | ||
This is a stack of 20 masterfully prepared plump helmet roast. The ingredients are masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet and masterfully minced plump helmet. | This is a stack of 20 masterfully prepared plump helmet roast. The ingredients are masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet and masterfully minced plump helmet. | ||
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{{bugl|9267|cat=nocat}}: Traders bring magma in bags | {{bugl|9267|cat=nocat}}: Traders bring magma in bags | ||
{{bugl|1701|cat=nocat}}: HFS Critters attempting to clean self | {{bugl|1701|cat=nocat}}: HFS Critters attempting to clean self | ||
+ | My imprisoned expedition leader just walked home while still considered a prisoner due to some erroneous travel code exclusive to position holders. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | If your vision of dwarves is less about crafting in the mountains, and more about a lone dwarf descending from the hills to attack a village with a pack of a dozen hounds, your vision is now a reality. That's how I tested it, anyway. Five of the dogs were struck down, but the humans will now think twice about whatever it was they were thinking about, that's for sure. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
"Those rivers are out to get you. Why do you think you can't fast travel across them? Because it's an ambush!" -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=164558.msg7555694#msg7555694 Uzu Bash] | "Those rivers are out to get you. Why do you think you can't fast travel across them? Because it's an ambush!" -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=164558.msg7555694#msg7555694 Uzu Bash] | ||
+ | Uzol had orders, though, and he followed them to the letter. He broke into the temple and brought me back the relic... now I guess I have a save if I want to test being invaded by angry humans. -- [[Toady One]] | ||
"Ok, so one of the merchants who does nothing in this fortress whatsoever is hunting, that's the one who's hunting, not the 50 hunters I have in the fortress but the useless merchant, of course." -[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash]. | "Ok, so one of the merchants who does nothing in this fortress whatsoever is hunting, that's the one who's hunting, not the 50 hunters I have in the fortress but the useless merchant, of course." -[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash]. | ||
"If a site with outcasts hiding in it is conquered, the outcasts are treated like members of the defending site. This can lead to expected things like sewer werebeasts getting crucified. However, it can also make a giant alligator flee the attacking army, wandering the wilderness for a few years before deciding to become a dancer and moving to the city. The giant alligator later remembered itself and went back to attacking villages."[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=145317.msg7472982#msg7472982 -TheFlame52] | "If a site with outcasts hiding in it is conquered, the outcasts are treated like members of the defending site. This can lead to expected things like sewer werebeasts getting crucified. However, it can also make a giant alligator flee the attacking army, wandering the wilderness for a few years before deciding to become a dancer and moving to the city. The giant alligator later remembered itself and went back to attacking villages."[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=145317.msg7472982#msg7472982 -TheFlame52] | ||
"Now, Throw it in the pile and get back to work." [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash] | "Now, Throw it in the pile and get back to work." [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash] | ||
+ | "...go to reclaim artifacts that were either stolen by kobolds or something, or maybe weren't yours to begin with, and you can be bad dwarves. Start some shit." -- [[Toady One]] | ||
"Horse is hopping up and down on your mutilated body. you are deceased." | "Horse is hopping up and down on your mutilated body. you are deceased." | ||
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